May 18, 2012.
9:24 AM
Last night, when walking back from the “It’s Time to Pray” conference with over 40,000 Christians, Sharon’s cousins told us to walk on the other side of the hedges, on the road, because there was a crazy man on the sidewalk. As we walked past, Sharon said “it’s so sad” but other than that, nobody said a word. Everyone kept walking past and talking and laughing and enjoying each others’ sane Christian fellowship. My heart was broken, but I couldn’t do anything. It’s not my country, not my culture, not my language, and not my place. Who am I to say or do anything? I’m a foreigner, a visitor, and a guest – not someone who is in the place to disrupt the norm.
I can’t help but wonder as Christians, what is our responsibility to people who are physically or mentally ill? Or what about that guy at Dunkin Donuts – demon possessed? What is our responsibility then?
In Albany, there were many instances where I just passed by the sick or mentally ill and it broke my heart every time. Nobody else stopped, so I didn’t either. These people were hurt and dying without Jesus, and I couldn’t lay aside my pride or break the monotonous conformity for five minutes to pray for the people. When I stop to wonder what would Jesus do, I can’t escape all of the parables dedicated to this very injustice. Jesus makes it very clear what He thinks about religious people who don’t stop to help out their neighbor in the parable of the Good Samaritan.
So what? What if I did stop? I wouldn’t know what to say, or what to do, or what even to pray!
In Virginia, one Sunday after church, we went to Krispy Kreme and there was a man standing outside on the side of the road. Waiting inside behind a long line of fellow apathetic people, I couldn’t stand it. This was the first time I had felt so compelled to actually do something. I convinced my friend Alexandria to come with me, just to talk to the man and offer him some breakfast if he was hungry. Walking to meet this man, we found him begging for jobs. Not for money, not for food, but for a job. He had moved to Virginia after Hurricane Katrina took his house, his family, and everything he owned. He had nowhere else to go and nobody helped him, so he was forced into homelessness. Listening to his story and his heart about how he just couldn’t get a break in life, I just wanted to hug him and hold him and tell him it will be alright because Jesus loved him. I wanted to bring him back to Rhode Island and give him my job at Burger King or find him a place to live until he could get a job himself and find a house. I wanted so much to do something, and I have never felt so helpless. What could I do? I could have told him about Jesus and his saving grace which not only pulled me out of sin but brought me to people who were willing and able to help me off of my feet. I could have prayed for him that he would find a job or something of the sort, but I didn’t know what to do. In the moments of my indecisiveness and indecision, a police officer came who seemed well-acquainted with the man and so we left and went back inside.
Nothing happened. No healing, no roadside conversion, nothing.
The first time I felt so overwhelmed with compassion that I had to do something, and nothing happened. Well, not the first time actually – the second.
The first time was at Street Church. We went out as teams to go street evangelize and my team and I were on our high horses, ready to save Haverhill one encounter at a time when we stumbled across this man… Well, he stumbled across us – literally. He was obviously drunk at the very least. Even still, he was a friendly man with a pleasant disposition so we walked with him. We walked with him for quite a while, actually just talking to him as he looked for his truck. We prayed for him and after some time of just talking and loving on him, he opened up and told us about his life. He had just recently gotten out of jail for something to do with drugs. His wife had left him and he had lost custody of his children which wrecked him more than anything. He asked us to pray that he would get his act together so that he could get his babies back. When we were praying for him, I felt the Holy Spirit telling me to say “Be sober in the name of Jesus.” He gave me the words and the opportunity to say them, but I couldn’t.
I was afraid. Of what? So much – looking like a fool in front of my class mates, the man not being sober and being confused and having to explain my foolishness to him, the man not being sober and me being disappointed in God… So I didn’t. When the man finally found his car and was still very drunk, I was given one last opportunity to listen to God and do it, but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. I willingly chose not to. Even writing this now and having to relive it, my heart cries out at its own disobedience. God had entrusted me with that man’s physical and eternal life and I blew it. All because I was afraid like the man in the parable of the talents. I hid my “talent” for fear of so much LESS than disappointing my Master. I was not afraid of disappointing God, but of disappointing man and being disappointed in God. I did not have enough faith and I was too afraid to even admit it.
With all that being said, I can’t help but wonder what would Jesus do? What did He do? He was moved by compassion and healed the multitudes. He was moved by love to bring life to His children. Am I? No. Have I been? No. Will I be? That’s my choice.
“And as you go, preach, saying, ‘The kingdom of heaven is at hand.’ Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons. Freely you have received, freely give.’” Matthew 10:7-8.
“Then He called His twelve disciples together and gave them power and authority over all demons, and to cure diseases. He sent them to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick.” Luke 9:1-2
Jesus is very clear as to what He requires of us and what He wants from His people. What would Jesus do? The same thing that He did when He was here. What would Jesus think if we failed to do what He asked of us? He already told us He would say to us “depart from me you evil doers, I never knew you!” I do not want to hear those words from my Jesus. I want to see Him smiling at me, proudly on his face standing amidst all of the people I helped bring to Him as He says “well done, my good and faithful servant.” So will I do as Jesus did? Will I be moved as Jesus was? I can only choose yes. Though I may not know what to do or what to say, I know that my God will help me and the more I read His word and I sit at his feet and under His tutelage, the more I will learn and the more I will know.
The salmon was… Incredible! It was about 14-15 hours and Wev got at least one more flight to jakarta after our four hour layover here in Hong Kong, but that wont be more than five hours.(:
